Are YOU stressing yourself out?

 In Women in Business

Do you ever catch yourself saying “It shouldn’t be this hard?” and then you hear back “Life is hard, deal with it.” Hmm, well who’s right?

When we push against who we naturally are, we feel stress, things don’t progress easily, we beat ourselves up for getting crappy results, everything is an effort. ~You are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero

The above quote struck home with me as I was reading the chosen πŸ“– with my book club. Maybe it’s not your job, your situation, your circumstances, maybe it’s YOU, that is creating the stress you feel. Uh oh. Yup, I went there.

I know it’s been true for me. The good news is that if it’s YOU, you can fix it. If it’s your lot in life then you’re a victim and things will never change. Personally, I’d rather it be my fault, my responsibility and thus also my ability to change it, wouldn’t you?

For me, one way I was pushing against who I am was with a simple little thing like scheduling my day and having a structured to-do list. ABSOLUTELY wrong! Every single thing I would do then became so hard, I felt miserable, pressed for time, that I wasn’t accomplishing enough. I was tired, frustrated and beating myself up. And then tomorrow would come and half of my list I had to carry over to the new day, writing it all out again – ugh! And so it went day after day. The list never stopped, I never felt good about myself and yes, I was stressed.

What I decided to do was to let go of the belief that making money has to be hard work and that if I’m having fun and not slaving away working my tail off round the clock like others around me who are also building their own businesses, I must not be working hard enough.

What this change in mindset looks like for me is focusing on doing more of the fun stuff. Imagine that! LOL. I always say that I can do anything when I’m having fun! And it’s working.

I still have a written list and I do plan my goals for the month. I even review my list daily. The difference is that now it’s a master list and I’m working on all of it, all the time. I go with the flow. As ideas strike me, I do them right then, not pausing only to write it down as an addition to The List to be time scheduled later.

Follow me on this totally under-exaggeration of an example: I’ll be sending out a simple email and it’ll take me an hour or even two 😳 as I go off on tangents. I’ll have 15 other things going on at the same time- an idea for a blog post strikes me so I immediately go write it before the inspiration leaves me. At the same time I’m also playing ball with the dogs and making lunch, which reminds me to go get dinner for the dogs out of the freezer in the garage and as I’m putting it in the laundry room tub to thaw I think to throw a load of clothes in the washer, which leads me to grab the dirty clothes in the closet hamper where I see a shirt I wanted to use in a video and as the lighting is perfect outside (I know as I’m still playing ball) I might as well do a live video now before I miss the light. Then, I text someone I needed to follow up with which brings me back to my email as I’ve now thought of exactly what to say and three more people I want to email. 😜

Does this make you crazy? Thing is, NOT doing life this way makesΒ me crazy. And every self help book and strategies in the ‘how to be successful’ books I’ve tried to implement lead me into exhaustion, stress and a complete lack of joy, all while I’m doing what I should be doing, that, according to the experts, is the only way to achieve my goals. Huh.

But see, I know what are my top priorities and I keep coming back to them, in my own time. I allow myself to have the flexibility to create, to play, to have fun. I might block a time frame to do some work and have a couple things in mind but during that time I could be all over the map. I used to beat myself up about that – “why the heck does it take you TWO HOURS to send one email?!!”

Now I celebrate moving in a way that works for me. Accomplishment has become my new middle name! 😎 I’m getting loads more βœ… while at the same time having way more fun.

When you listen to your heart and connect with who you’re meant to become, you have energy because you’re in a state of flow, things happen more easily, opportunities land in your lap, you’re turned on, inspired, engulfed in a sea of brilliant ideas. ~Jen Sincero

Doesn’t that ⬆️ sound sooo much better?? It feels loads better too!

What does listening to your heart look like?

Why not take a few minutes when you have a peaceful moment, maybe in the morning with your cup of coffee, and dwell on that question. Take note of what thoughts come to mind. Don’t dismiss anything, no matter how crazy it sounds. Then commit to doing at least one thing you’ve noted down that speaks to who you are, that makes you smile just looking at the sentence you’ve written. 😊 I’d love to hear what comes up for you!

If you’d like to be in the company of other women who are creating lives of Love and Joy you’re warmly invited to join us in our Facebook group here.

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